Focus on the things that you can control

There are a lot of things in life that we cannot control and, too often, these are the things that we focus on.

Worrying about things that we can't change uses up valuable time and energy. More importantly, focusing on things that are outside of our reach takes our focus away from things that we do have power over.

While we don't have full control over everything around us, there are always things that we can do to make positive changes in our life.

Whenever we think
about something that we have no control over, our brain takes that as a challenge. While our brain is stuck in a loop trying solve problems that are not ours to solve, we're expending energy that could be used more productively.

While we're focusing on things that we can't control, it's easy to get caught up in the negativity of inevitable failure.

When we focus on things that are outside of our control, we're likely to have feelings of helplessness, guilt, shame, embarrassment, anxiety, and anger. When our efforts are concentrated on changing something that we cannot change, we'll experience failure.

Our thoughts dictate our feelings, and feelings dictate how we behave. It would stand to reason, then, that if we want to change our behavior, we need to change our thinking.

When we focus on things that we can change or at least work on, we're more likely to feel positive about ourselves.

If we want to be successful in doing this on a large scale, we need to employ the practice with every problem we encounter.

We need to think about our thoughts before we act on the emotions that were produced by them.

Whenever you're faced with a problem, consider the nature of the problem. On a piece of paper, make two columns. In one column, note all of the things relating to this problem that you have no control over.

When you're done with the first column, look over the things that you have listed there. When you consider them, what kind of feelings do you have?

These are the things relating to the problem that you have no control over, and most people focusing on these things will experience feelings of helplessness, guilt, shame, embarrassment, anxiety, depression, or anger.

Next, go back to the paper and fill in the second column by writing down all of the things relating to the problem that you can change, or at least have some effect upon. These ar
e the things that are within your sphere of control.

When you consider the list of things that you have included in the second column, you are more likely to feel empowered, hopeful, optimistic, and happy. When you focus on these things, you will probably feel more relaxed.

You won't be able to completely or immediately fix every problem that comes up in your life, but you can make steps in the right direction. Begin by making small but tangible steps toward improving those things that you have some control over.

This will require consistent action on your part over a period of time. Don't expect immediate results. The results are not within your area of control.

When you focus on the things that you can change, you will feel more positive about yourself.

Whenever you find yourself worried or stressed about something in your life, evaluate it to determine the pieces of the puzzle that you might have control over, and put your focus there.

No one can do these things for you. It is up to you to make positive changes in your life. Although people can support you in various ways, no one can recover for you. That's up to you, and you can do it.